Miss Manners: Is there a polite way to tell dinner guest to close toilet lid after using the bathroom?

DEAR MISS MANNERS: We have become friends with another couple over the past two years, and we frequently invite them for dinner. Lately, I’ve noticed that the husband leaves the toilet seat up after using the bathroom.

Both my husband and I have a habit of closing the lid before flushing. Is there a way I can politely bring this up with our guest?

My husband believes it would be rude for me to mention it and that I should do nothing. If not a polite conversation, is it rude to leave a little framed sign in the bathroom: “Please close lid before flushing”?

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GENTLE READER: Are you sure that is what you really want?

Because if your guest (or anyone, really) closes the lid before flushing — without a quick glance behind to make sure that everything is … expunged — you might get an unpleasant surprise when you return.

Miss Manners suggests that you do your best to ignore your guests’ bathroom habits and resist putting up that sign. People have all sorts of private behaviors, and neither you nor she really needs to hear about them (she thanks her gentle readers in advance for sparing her).

If you absolutely cannot control yourself, however, next time it happens, she will permit you to turn to your husband in front of the guest and in a loud stage whisper, say, “I’m afraid the cat was drinking out of the toilet again. He always does that when the lid is left up.”

Of course, your husband will have to consent to the ruse, and you may need to procure a cat.

Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website,


www.missmanners.com


; to her email,


dearmissmanners@gmail.com


; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.

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