Why Tho? Reader reminds others – ‘church’ isn’t only on Sundays

Dear readers,

When it rains, as they say, it pours. In this case, it’s pouring your letters. The best kind of rain!

You, my readers, continue to have opinions, particularly on Sunday mornings and grammar. Not since the great

“when should we open gifts at kids’ parties” debate of 2024

have I had so many responses.

First, Sundays. Recently, I wrote about

a parenting influencer who says she doesn’t go to birthday parties on Sunday mornings

. I then wrote

a follow-up with your responses

. Now you have responses to those responses.

These letters are edited for length and grammar.

Dear Lizzy,

It’s pretty easy to say that a family should be involved in the community and not isolated from it. While I agree in principle and love my village, which includes in-laws, church family and neighbors, I think our society is over-busy and sacrosanct family time can help answer that. We’re not talking about even sitting down to dinner all together five times a week, we’re talking (if I understand Emily Oster’s position correctly) about one morning a week.

Even with only one child, having just one morning a week to connect and focus on each other rather than errands, extra-curriculars, social engagements, school, work and chores makes a massive difference. It relaxes and rests the family, filling up our cups to be able to then go in turn and pour into others. It reminds the child of their place of belonging in the family, strengthens the bonds that will carry them into adulthood and beyond, and I can personally testify to its benefits in counteracting postpartum depression, anxiety and mom guilt.

You might say they could just shift family time to another day, and maybe that wouldn’t be so bad here and there, but it is easier said than done. Children and parents alike rely on routine to keep the week running smoothly. Too much variation, and chaos and stress are the inevitable results. Something will inevitably be forgotten or left until too late.

As participants in our communities, if so many families still go to church and that is a valid excuse for missing a party, why should Sunday mornings be considered a good time for social gatherings as though nothing were going on? Please, let parents have one day a week so that they can build resilient children and families to support robust communities.

Thank you for your thoughtful consideration.

Dear Lizzy,

Wow, did you miss a “teachable moment” when that letter complained about hikes/parties/social events that are scheduled for Sundays.

For Muslims, their holy day falls on Friday. For Jewish people, the Sabbath begins at sundown on Friday and ends at sundown on Saturday. Many Catholics attend services midweek, in the afternoons or early evening.

If it were bad form to schedule activities that conflict with religious meetings, well, good luck with that. We cannot help offending or excluding someone.

That letter’s author clearly never gave a moment’s thought to the fact that Sunday churchgoing isn’t universal. They presume to complain about those who aren’t religious, or who follow any of the other faiths, for daring to schedule activities that conflict with their chosen practice.

IMO that kind of selfish bigotry surely is a bigger sin than hiking on Sunday.

Me again! You also had a few things to say about the question of

whether it was offensive to use the word “kids” for children

Dear Lizzy,

Your response to “Human” re: referring to children as kids was spot-on. I might add that when I have encountered this, I remind the offended Mama-Bear that the German word for child is “Kind” (pronounced keend), and that “kid” is simply an Americanized variant of this. The word “kindergarten” translates to “children’s garden.” No one is calling her Little Darling a baby goat.

Best regards,

Lizzy,

The purists in your family will recoil in horror when they read: “I realized my need to correct everyone who spoke American English ‘differently than ME’ was at best elitist and at worst racist.”

Really? Differently than ME? How would it sound if you added “did” to your pronoun? Then it would read, “I realized my need to correct everyone who spoke American English differently than me did was at best elitist and at worst racist.”

That’s why “….differently than I” is appropriate and correct, and doesn’t sound the least bit elitist or racist to me.

Otherwise, your answer was perfect, though! Thanks, Lizzy.

Sincerely,

Lizzy,

Children? Kids? Who cares! Most are entitled lil jerks nowadays!

What?! No, F.! The kids are great! Or the children are great! Both?! Either way, thank you for the letters! Keep them coming!

Lizzy

Have a burning question? Send me an email at

lacker@oregonian.com

! Or, if you want to ask me a question with total anonymity,

use this Google form

.

More Why Tho?

Why Tho? Is it offensive to call children ‘kids’?
Why Tho? If my friend’s wedding is anything like her terrible bachelorette weekend, I don’t want to go
Why Tho? Parents weigh in on ‘family time,’ church and slide etiquette