Dear Abby: Twice-divorced woman finds men run for the hills when she explains she won’t marry again

Greetings, Abby I recently turned sixty-one and have been divorced twice. I’m in excellent health and I look fairly nice. Both of my husbands were wonderful men, and I have remained in good standing with them. My second marriage lasted ten years, while my first lasted twenty. For the past five years, I have been flying alone. I don’t want to get married again since I adore my life and lifestyle. I enjoy being free to do as I choose and having my own space.

My problem is that, even though I’m open to dating and forming friendships, every man I interact with online aspires to marriage! They leave as soon as I let them know I’m not searching for a marriage. My response to the marriage question recently resulted in me being practically interrupted in the middle of a conversation. If the first or second phone call stops things because I’m being honest, how can I move on to the let’s meet in person part? I’d rather not lie.

Explaining that I no longer think marriage is necessary for me to feel content is difficult. I have amazing friends and family, and I’m a really gregarious person. I acknowledge that there are some things about being in an exclusive relationship that I do miss. Simply said, I no longer aspire to be a Mrs. It’s the third time… not! Tell me, please. — STOPPING IN TEXAS TWICE

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Greetings, Stopping I hear from a lot of women who are experiencing the exact opposite issue that you are. Immediately after they express interest in getting married, the men flee. It’s possible that you’re conveying your disinterest in marriage too clearly, or you haven’t met the proper men yet. If you are clear about what you DO want, which seems to be companionship and a monogamous relationship, you may have more success.

Abigail Van Buren, better known as Jeanne Phillips, is the author of Dear Abby. Her mother, Pauline Phillips, began the company. For more information, visit www.DearAbby.com or send an email to P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

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