Dear Annie: I know it sounds selfish, unsupportive, but I’m not ready for my widowed mom to date again

To Annie, please: Since my dad’s untimely death last year, my mom has been dating someone else. They have been dating for roughly six months after she met him at a religious gathering. Something about it bothers me, even though I want her to be happy.

She talks about him all the time, takes him to family meals, and just made a suggestion that they should move in together. She seems to be hurrying things up and attempting to fill the void left by my dad. I’ve made an effort to be courteous, but she’s observed that I’m retreating.

She continues asking me why I’m acting aloof, but I’m not sure how to respond without coming across as conceited or unsupportive. I don’t want to dictate her decisions, but it seems like she’s ignoring the fact that I’m also grieving.

Is it possible to be truthful without making her feel bad? Or should I just let her go and not say anything? — Georgia Is Still in Grief

Greetings, Still in Grief: It is neither self-centered nor unsupportive to say, “I’m not ready for this.” Grief is a continuous process, and witnessing your mother in a new relationship is a significant and startling shift.

Tell your mother that you need a little more time to sit with that and that you miss your dad. Tell her that your distancing is based on your personal healing process rather than the person she is seeing.

Above all, keep in mind that grieving differently is not selfish.

For Annie Lane, send inquiries to dearannie@creators.com.

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