Dear Annie: Is there a way to offer financial help to proud friend without damaging our relationship?

To Annie, please: I’ve been close to my best friend for more than 20 years. Marriages, divorces, parenting difficulties, health crises, you name it, we’ve been there for each other through it. When I’m rejoicing, when I’m hurting, or when I simply need someone to remind me of who I am, I call her.

However, she has been experiencing financial difficulties lately. She recently lost her job, and while she is making every effort to rebuild her life, I am aware that she is having difficulties. She stopped going out with friends, has fallen behind on her payments, and I have a suspicion that she is skipping meals in order to make ends meet. Seeing her like this makes me sad.

I’d like to assist her. Practically as well as emotionally. I would love to provide some support, and I am fortunate to be in a solid financial situation at the moment. However, I don’t want to make her feel like a helpless victim or embarrassed. I appreciate her independence and pride.

How can I support her without jeopardizing her dignity or our friendship, in your opinion? Whether it’s direct cash assistance or more inventive methods to support her, I’m up for anything. — Concerned and Desiring to Assist

To Worried: Your friend is fortunate to have you because you have a good heart. Being sensitive and respectful is the greatest approach to assist. Consider paying a specific expense, giving her a grocery gift card, or inviting her to dinner and sending her home with leftovers as alternatives to giving her cash all at once. You might possibly put her in touch with resources or assist her in her employment search.

Make it clear to her that you are providing support out of concern for her, not out of sympathy. When love is at the forefront, friendship and pride may coexist.

For Annie Lane, send inquiries to dearannie@creators.com.

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