Asking Eric: Will husband’s family’s odd naming tradition end up confusing our young son?

To Eric, Although this isn’t a particularly important question, I would still like to hear your thoughts. Since our firstborn son’s middle name is the same as his father’s middle name, who also uses it, we refer to him by his middle name. My husband’s father’s side of the family has been doing this for many generations. You can only imagine how perplexed I was years ago when I learnt about the custom and found out that our unborn kid had already been assigned a first name (albeit we may chose the middle).

Even if I think the tradition is strange, I’ve come to terms with it. Our four-year-old boy is ready to learn and spell his full name, and I’m afraid that when we try to explain that his real first name is actually his father’s, he will become confused and confuse others. I’m squirming already. I might or might not have thought of your name as an elegant answer, but is it?

The Name Game

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Name, please: It’s debatable if my nomenclature is elegant. When I started using my first initial in high school, a teacher informed me, “There’s a thin line between class and pretension,” Eric. Do you think that’s possible? I continue to laugh at the boldness.

It should go without saying that your kid will have many options when it comes to his quest for self-expression, including class, pretense, and other options. He might eventually decide to use his first name if you address him by his middle name. He might use his middle name if you address him by his first name. He might decide on a completely other moniker if he subsequently becomes a music star. All of those are perfectly acceptable. He will, however, be able to comprehend the idea of a whole name for the time being, as well as the fact that some portions of the name are used in conversation and others are not.

A parent’s offering is a name. And one hopes it’s useful, like all the many gifts of parenthood. However, that doesn’t diminish its value even if its use changes.

For inquiries, contact R. Eric Thomas at ateric@askingeric.com or by mail at P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Subscribe to his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com and follow him on Instagram.

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