Dear Abby: I don’t trust my retired husband’s new friendship with bar buddy

Greetings, Abby My spouse, who retired from his full-time work last year, and I have been married for 32 years. I am currently 57 years old. I continue to work full-time. He has been attending a bar once a week or so since he retired, spending a few hours chatting with the patrons and employees.

One of the employees has expressed interest in becoming his friend. My spouse is gregarious and a little flirty. He asks the younger female bartender who works there to join us for drinks at our home bar. Additionally, they have developed a friendship on social media and communicate via SMS.

They arranged for her to join another of our friends for cocktails while I had an out-of-town vacation scheduled. Because they thought I could get upset, they decided to keep it a secret. When I learned, I DID get upset and have stayed that way.

I no longer trust my hubby because I’ve found other texts. Despite his protestations, I feel deeply betrayed and unable to let go of what may have been revealed about me, even though I don’t believe they are physically dating. How can I proceed? — WASHINGTON SUSPICIOUS

Stories by

Abigail Van Buren

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DEAR SUSPICIOUS: Your husband and the bartender are acting inappropriately. Asking her company whether there are any policies against employees interacting with customers outside of the business would be worthwhile.

It makes sense that you wouldn’t trust your flirting husband in these situations. You may be able to mend your relationship with the aid of marriage counseling. Give him the choice to accompany you, and if he declines, go by yourself.

Abigail Van Buren, better known as Jeanne Phillips, is the author of Dear Abby. Her mother, Pauline Phillips, began the company. For more information, visit www.DearAbby.com or send an email to P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.