Dear Annie: Attending grad party feels ‘off’ when friends haven’t been in contact for a few years

I recently received an invitation from the daughter, and while I was touched to be included, I’m feeling a little conflicted.

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Dear Annie: A couple I’ve been friends with for over 20 years is about to celebrate their daughter’s high school graduation. I recently received an invitation from the daughter, and while I was touched to be included, I’m feeling a little conflicted.

Over the past few years, the parents — who were once very close to me — have gradually stopped staying in touch. They no longer call or text when they’re in town, which they used to do regularly. I don’t know if life just got busy or if there’s some unspoken distance that’s grown between us. The graduation party would also require some travel, which makes me question whether it’s worth the effort given how things have changed.

I do want to honor the daughter and the occasion, but I’m unsure if showing up after such a long period of silence would feel awkward or unwelcome. Would it be better to attend and show support in person, or should I send a card and gift and leave it at that? — Feeling Distant

Dear Feeling Distant: If you’re interested in rekindling your friendship with the couple, then supporting their daughter for this milestone would be a lovely way of doing so. Actions speak louder than words, and showing up to this party would likely go further than a simple “I miss you.”

My guess? Life got busy for them, and they would be touched to see you at the party.

But attending isn’t without its risks; if you’d be particularly upset at the prospect of going to the party only to have nothing change in your friendship, then you could opt for a lower-investment way to initiate — perhaps a phone call.

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