Dear Annie: My husband’s dislike of my sister makes it hard for me to spend time with family

The first edition of this column appeared in 2022.

To Annie, please: My sister is disliked by my spouse. She reminds him too much of his ex-wife, he claims. He doesn’t want to be around her anymore because of that. Seeing my entire family is becoming really challenging as a result. Since my father’s mental state is deteriorating, we are organizing a trip to visit them in Canada.

While we are there, my spouse won’t visit my sister. Given that she and her husband have traveled to the United States twice in the past year to see us, my sister became quite irate when I informed her that we would not have time to travel to her residence, which is another three-hour drive away, because this was a special trip to spend time with my parents.

My sister is someone I adore. Aside from my hubby, she is my best buddy. Nearly every day, we speak over the phone. I do not wish to cause her harm. What should I do next? — Love between sisters.

To My Sisterly Love: Your hubby must mature. Since he is aware of how much your sister means to you, any resemblance to his ex-wife is not an excuse to avoid visiting her.

I would question your husband about why he finds the two women’s resemblance so upsetting. Was his last marriage abusive or poisonous? Does he have emotions that he has struggled to overcome when he sees your sister? He needs to deal with these problems, ideally with a therapist’s assistance.

While you’re in Canada, you should definitely pay your sister a visit. He can either fly back to the United States by himself or stay with your folks.

For Annie Lane, send inquiries to dearannie@creators.com.

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