Miss Manners: Is it necessary for me to feign praise when a young person shows me their new tattoo?

DEAR MISS MANNERS: It seems more and more of my friends’ young adult children are getting tattoos. Often my friends share the news like the tattoo is some sort of accomplishment and, if the young adult is present, will summon them over to show off the new ink to (presumably) collect compliments.

While I don’t begrudge others doing what they want with their bodies, I don’t have tattoos myself and don’t personally understand the appeal. I also admit that when someone permanently tattoos themselves at the tender age of 18 or 19, nothing in my being thinks congratulations or praise is in order.

Most of the other friends will feign interest and offer complimentary comments about the design. I usually just smile and listen. While I don’t want to make up fake compliments, saying nothing doesn’t feel entirely polite either. What do you think?

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Judith Martin

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GENTLE READER: If there is one thing Miss Manners would think these young adults should have learned from posting personal information online, it is that showing off to others does not inspire universal admiration. Perhaps they neglected to teach their parents that attempts to solicit compliments are likely to produce snarky responses.

Not that you or any of their friends would be so rude. But neither do you have to produce false flattery. Rather, you can simply ask polite questions: “How did you choose the design?” “Will you be doing more of these?” and definitely not, “Are you nuts?”

Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website,


www.missmanners.com


; to her email,


dearmissmanners@gmail.com


; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.

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