Miss Manners: Minister seeks ways of thwarting congregants who interrupt ongoing conversations

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am a ministry leader at my church and am well-known within the congregation. After the church service, many people like to stay in the lobby for a few minutes to chat.

I find myself often in an embarrassing situation that I don’t know how to handle: Suppose I’ve been chatting with someone, let’s call them Person A, for just a minute. Then I feel someone, Person B, touch my shoulder or arm to get my attention. I turn to see that it’s another friendly person who wishes to chat.

Now, my body is still facing Person A, with whom I wish to continue talking, but my head is turned to chat with Person B, who has interrupted our conversation.

I find this situation terribly awkward and disrespectful to Person A. Sometimes, when I finally manage to end the interaction with Person B, Person A has already left. I feel awful when this happens, and it occurs far too often.

I don’t understand how Person B can feel it’s acceptable to interrupt an ongoing conversation, but at the same time, I don’t know how to ignore someone who is physically trying to get my attention. Can you please advise me on how to handle this situation?

GENTLE READER: Ah yes, the ministry two-step. Listen raptly until Person A reaches the end of a sentence. Say, “Excuse me just one second.” Turn to Person B. Say, “I was just talking to Person A, won’t you join us?” Turn back to Person A, opening up the circle to include Person B. Say (to Person A), “You were saying …”

And do this all so quickly that neither Person A nor Person B has a chance to take over. Fortunately, as a ministry leader, you are used to commanding attention.

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Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website,


www.missmanners.com


; to her email,


dearmissmanners@gmail.com


; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.

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